Domestic Violence
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Wikipedia-Article "Domestic Violence"
Domestic violence broadly defined, is violence within a home. Beyond this, the term has a range of definitions, some more and some less formal, that are frequently used with little awareness that a range of definitions exists.
[1], defined domestic violence as:
- Any violence between current or former partners in an intimate relationship, wherever and whenever the violence occurs. The violence may include physical, sexual, emotional or financial abuse.
Contents |
Classification
For classification purposes it breaks the term down into sexual and non-sexual abuse, and each of these into further sub-categories illustrated by example:
Non-sexual
Abuse
- Prevented you from having your fair share of the household money
- Stopped you from seeing friends and relatives
Threat
- Frightened you, by threatening to hurt you or someone close to you
Force - minor
- Pushed you, held or pinned you down or slapped you
Force - major
- Kicked you, bit you, or hit you with a fist or something else, or threw something at you that hurt you
- Choked or tried to strangle you
- Threatened you with a weapon, such as a stick or a knife
- Threatened to kill you
- Used a weapon against you, e.g. a knife, gun
Sexual
Rape - 1994 definition
- Penetration of the vagina or anus by the penis without consent
- [Women only] Penetrated the vagina with a penis, even if only slightly
- Penetrated the anus with a penis even if only slightly
- [Women only] Attempted to penetrate the vagina with a penis, but did not succeed
- Attempted to penetrate the anus with a penis but did not succeed
Rape - additional 2003 definition
- In addition to the 1994 definition, penetration of the mouth by penis without consent:
- Penetrated mouth with a penis even if only slightly
- Attempted to penetrate mouth with a penis but did not succeed
Assault by penetration - 2003 (new offence)
- Penetration of the vagina or anus by other body parts or objects
- [Women only] Penetrated the vagina with an object (including fingers) even if only slightly
- Penetrated the anus with an object (including fingers) even if only slightly
- [Women only] Attempted to penetrate vagina with an object (including fingers) but did not succeed
- Attempted to penetrate anus with an object (including fingers) but did not succeed
CAFCASS Definition
CAFCASS, whilst mentioning in its Domestic Violence Policy [2] that it uses the term domestic violence to refer to a range of violent and abusive behaviours, defines it as:
- Patterns of behaviour characterised by the misuse of power and control by one person over another who are or have been in an intimate relationship. It can occur in mixed gender relationships and same gender relationships and has profound consequences for the lives of children, individuals, families and communities. It may be physical, sexual, emotional and/or psychological. The latter may include intimidation, harassment, damage to property, threats and financial abuse.
The UK Home Office statistics indicate that male-on-female repeated assaults are about twice as common as female-on-male repeated assaults.Table 2.5 This is the opposite to the findings of the US National Family Violence Survey, which has consistently indicated in repeated studies for more than 30 years that females initiate domestic assault at more than twice the rate of men.
Other definitions
The New York State Coalition defines domestic violence as "abusive behavior - emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual - that one person in an intimate relationship uses in order to control the other. It takes many different forms and includes behaviors such as threats, name-calling, preventing contact with family or friends, withholding money, actual or threatened physical harm and sexual assault. Stalking can also be a form of domestic violence." [3]
Domestic
- Family relationship, explicit and formal or informal, usually between adults of similar age, else it is labeled child abuse or child molestation for children, and elder abuse for older adults.
- Romantic relationships including marriages, cohabitation, and dating relationships, sexual and nonsexual, exclusive or nonexclusive, heterosexual or homosexual.
Violence
- Physical violence
- Direct physical violence, ranging from murder and rape to unwanted physical contact.
- Indirect physical violence, including destruction of objects, throwing objects near the victim, harm to animals
- Mental/emotional violence
- Verbal threats of physical violence to the victim, the self, or others including children, ranging from explicit, detailed and impending to implicit and vague as to both content and time frame
- Verbal violence, including threats, insults, put-downs, attacks
- Nonverbal threats, including gestures, facial expressions, body postures
- Economic/social abuse
- Controlling victim's money and other economic resources, preventing victim from seeing friends and relatives, actively sabotaging victim's social relationships and isolating victim from social contacts.
The term "domestic violence" replaced "wife beating" or "wife battering" which came before. In its turn, it has begun to be replaced with more descriptive terms such as "relationship violence", "domestic abuse", "violence against a spouse", "spousal abuse" and "family violence". The term has been defined legally in some jurisdictions, which can add further confusion when members of the justice system interact with domestic violence advocates.
Cycle of violence
Frequently, domestic violence is used to describe specific violent and overtly abusive incidents, and legal definitions will tend to take this perspective. However, when violent and abusive behaviors happen within a relationship, the effects of those behaviors continue after these overt incidents are over. Advocates and counselors will refer to domestic violence as a pattern of behaviors, including those listed above.
Lenore Walker presented the model of a "Cycle of Violence" which consists of three basic phases:
- Honeymoon Phase
- Characterized by affection, apology, apparent end of violence.
- Tension Building Phase
- Characterized by poor communication, tension, fear of causing outbursts,
- Acting-out Phase
- Characterized by outbursts of violent, abusive incidents.
Although it is easy to see the outbursts of the Acting-out Phase as abuse, even the more pleasant behaviors of the Honeymoon Phase serve to perpetuate the abuse. See also the cycle of abuse article.
Cause
Domestic violence is caused specifically by the choice to engage in violent or abusive behavior against a partner, sibling or child. A variety of factors can lead to that choice, but only in the case of truly uncontrollable compulsions can those factors eliminate the potential to choose nonviolent and non-abusive behaviors. Other possible causes may include behavioral changes in the individual who has a chemical dependency problem (e.g. drugs and alcohol). They may also have seen abuse between their parents as a child and do not know any different so know they are abusing as an adult because they know nothing else. Mental illness may also play a role in domestic violence. Unfortunately, after domestic violence occurs both the victim and the abuser may go through a stage of denial, while other victims may choose to try to eliminate the problem by (for example) issuing a restraining order against the abuser.
Increasingly domestic violence is being fueled by such negative factors as alcoholism and drug abuse. Statistics suggest that about more than of domestic violence incidents were drug or alcohol related, especially when the abuser was intoxicated or high on such drugs as cocaine and methamphetamine.
Purpose
Whilst purposelessness might be a better heading for this section, a causalist view is that the purpose of domestic violence is not primarily to hurt or harm the victim. Rather, it is to gain or maintain power and control over the victim.
Note that power in a relationship is often a matter of perception. A person may perceive themselves to be put-upon when a less involved observer would disagree.
An alternative view is that abuse arises more from an attempt to 'export' feelings of powerlessness to the victim. The purpose of an attempt to 'gain or maintain power and control over the victim' is to develop and enforce a permanent channel for such attempted 'export' to the other. Since feelings are personal, and cannot be resolved via others as proxies, this 'export' is inherently impossible to achieve, hence such behaviours are inherently addictive, leading to cycles of abuse. Mutual cycles develop when each party attempts to 'pass the buck' back and forth, usually through varying mechanisms of abuse. Since preferences for abuse-mechanisms are somewhat gendered, with females strongly favouring non-physical forms of abuse, selective 'snapshots' of such interactions may create an illusion of a gendered pattern of violence. Models such as the Duluth framework which attempt to resolve abuse by disempowering the alleged 'perpetrator' actually exacerbate the problems and all but guarantee failure. Resolution is only achieved when all parties acknowledge their responsibilities, and identify and respect mutual purpose. [4]
Gender
It is impossible to have a discussion of domestic violence that does not include a discussion of the role gender does or doesn't have to play in the problem. Sometimes, the discussion of gender can overwhelm any other topic, due to the degree of emotion with which the discussion of gender can attain. The topic is also itself emotive because of the revulsion that is evoked by the idea of vulnerable people powerless and hurt at the hands of a partner, spouse or other relative.
Attention to domestic violence began in the women's movement as concern about wives being beaten by their husbands, and has remained a major focus in the modern feminist movement, particularly under the label "violence against women". Erin Pizzey, the founder of an early women's shelter in Chiswick, London, has since expressed her dismay at how the issue has become a gender-political football, and expressed an unpopular view in her book Prone to Violence that some women in the refuge system had a predisposition to seek abusive relationships. She also expressed the view that domestic violence can occur against any vulnerable intimates, regardless of their sex. Given the violence that she herself experienced in the UK for voicing her views, one might be suspicious of some of those who opposed her views, which remain very relevant. Political balance in light of pressure from the feminist movement has been helped by noting that there are women who were violent with their husbands and partners, and with the realisation that where the prevailing culture ceases to be predominantly patriarchal there is no corresponding lessening in the incidence of domestic violence.
There continues to be discussion about whether men are more abusive than women, whether men's abuse of women is worse than women's abuse of men, and whether abused men should be provided resources similar to those available for abused women.
Domestic violence is clearly an enormous problem. Many studies have reported the high frequency of women as victims: The Council of Europe found in a 1992 study that 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence over their lifetimes and between 6-10% of women suffer domestic violence in a given year. Every minute in the UK, the Police receive a call from the public for assistance for domestic violence. However, they estimate that only around 35% of domestic violence is actually reported. A 2002 Women's Aid study found that 74% of separated women suffered from post-separation violence. Until recently, very few studies even asked about female-on-male (or female-on-female) domestic violence; so while these figures are apallingly high, the prevalence of violence against men is typically not included in these figures.
Studies based on reported assaults or on police records typically find much greater male-on-female violence, than the reverse. The British Crime Survey for the year 2001-2 [5] reported, "There were an estimated 12.9 million incidents of domestic violence acts (nonsexual threats or force) against women [84%] and 2.5 million against men [16%] in England and Wales in the year prior to interview." The same report states, "Four per cent of women and two per cent of men were subject to domestic violence (non-sexual domestic threats or force) during the last year." However, men are known to be far less likely to file complaints.
Many publications claim a grave disparity in general: Women's Aid (the UKs leading domestic violence charity) say "Crime statistics and research both show that domestic violence is gender specific - usually the perpetrator of a pattern of repeated assaults is a man. Women experience the most serious physical and repeated assaults." 42% of all female homicide victims compared with 4% of male homicide victims, were killed by current or former partners in England and Wales in the year 2000-2001. This equates to 102 women, an average of 2 women each week (Home Office, 2001). Ahimsa [6], a UK based DV project, says: "Research findings consistently report that over 90% of domestic violence is perpetrated by men within heterosexual relationships". This, however, is simply untrue. Although it is true that many studies report only male-on-female violence because that is all they ask about, those studies that do examine prevalance in both directions overwhelmingly find little difference by gender. This is particularly true when questions are specific: for example, men typically do not report being slapped if they are simply asked about "violence"; women do.
Martin S. Fiebert of the Department of Psychology at California State University, Long Beach, provides an annotated bibliography of 174 scholarly studies that have found significant prevalance of female-on-male domestic violence[7].
When it comes to domestic violence towards children involving physical abuse, research in the UK by the NSPCC indicated that "most violence occurred at home (78 per cent) with mothers being primarily responsible in 49 per cent of cases and fathers in 40 per cent of cases."[8]
Studies have been carried out to explore these issues, and results have seemed somewhat contradictory. A problem in conducting such studies is the amount of silence, fear and shame that results from abuse within families and relationships. Another is that abusive patterns can tend to seem normal to those who have lived in them for a length of time. Similarly, subtle forms of abuse can be quite transparent even as they set the stage for further abuse seeming normal. Finally, inconsistent definition of what domestic violence is makes strong conclusions hard to reach when compiling the available studies.
Both men and women have been arrested and convicted of assaulting their partners in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. The bulk of these arrests has been men being arrested for assaulting women, but that has been shifting somewhat over time and clearly arrest records are not the whole story. Actual studies of behaviour show that whilst half of male/female intimate violence is best described as mutual brawling, a quarter is the male attacking the female and the remaining quarter being females attacking their male partner. Determining how many instances of domestic violence actually involve male victims is difficult. Male domestic violence victims may be reluctant to get help for a number of reasons (see this article) (Article checked August 8, 2004.) A man who calls for help may even risk being arrested as the "perpetrator" even though he was the victim.
The general consensus seems to be that male on female domestic violence is more likely to result in serious injury or death, whereas female on male (which, under the definition used by the UK Government if no others, includes preventing the father seeing the children), is more likely to result in male suicide. Men on average have more upper body strength and socialization that predisposes them to resort to violence more than women do, and that can give them a higher average lethality than women. However, women can and do use weapons to equalize whatever deficit in physical power which may be present, and can also use social constraints against men hitting women even in self-defense, to provide them with sufficient lethality to be dangerous in conflict situations. The US National Family Violence Survey has consistently indicated, in repeated surveys over more than 30 years, that women are more than twice as likely as men to initiate domestic assault, and more than twice as likely to use weapons. The oft-repeated claim that all violence by women is self-defence has similarly been proven to be based on circular reasoning. Women also are at least as well equipped to use psychological violence that forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour (to use the Women's Aid definition given above). Women are also equally capable of using a proxy, which would further skew the results (since a proxy murder is not recorded as a case of domestic violence.)
In the United States, the bulk of the decrease in rates of intimate partner homicides is accounted for the dramatic decrease in women's murders of their male intimate partners. Murders of female intimate partners by men have dropped, but not nearly as dramatically. (see, for example, the report Violence by Intimates from the US Bureau of Justice Statistics at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/vbi.pdf) Men kill their female intimate partners at about four times the rate that women kill their male intimate partners. Research by Jacquelyn Campbell, PhD RN FAAN has found that at least two thirds of women killed by their intimate partners were battered by those men prior to the murder. She also found that when males are killed by female intimates, the women in those relationships had been abused by their male partner about 75% of the time.
Some researchers have found a relationship between the availability of domestic violence services, improved laws and enforcement regarding domestic violence and increased access to divorce, and higher earnings for women with declines in intimate partner homicide. (Laura Dugan, Daniel S. Nagin, Richard Rosenfeld, Explaining the Decline in Intimate Partner Homicide: The Effects of Changing Domesticity, Women's Status, and Domestic Violence Resources in Homicide Studies, Vol. 3, No. 3, 187-214, 1999)
This suggests that, ironically, male abusers have benefitted from domestic violence reforms, and are less likely to be killed by their partners since women are no longer faced with murder as their "only option" to escape the violence. At the same time, men continue to kill their female partners at almost the same rate. This suggests that reforms in the civil and criminal system and social services to battered women have not impacted the fundamental causes of domestic violence. Although some presume that this indicates a gendered nature of the problem, the lack of success may itself be a result of overly simplistic gender-assumptions on the nature of violence (see notes on the Duluth model in the 'Response to domestic violence' section).
Gender roles and expectations can and do play a role in abusive situations, and exploring these roles and expectations can be helpful in addressing abusive situations, as do factors like race, class, religion, sexuality and philosophy. None of these factors cause one to abuse or another to be abused.
Typecasting
Despite it being accepted that domestic violence goes both ways, literature on the subject from books to informational pamphlets, as well as public service announcements, still tend to be typecasted by gender. The victims are usually referred to as "she" and the perpetrator as "he". Men's groups consider that this sexist language undermines the male victims of domestic violence as well as inferring that men alone are inclined towards violence.
A recent Australian government funded campaign entitled 'To violence against women, Australia says NO' was criticised for implying that women were the only victims of domestic violence (or the only ones that count) and that innocent men who knew about or suspected violence in other's relationships and did nothing were somehow complicit in the crime.
Child abuse by mothers
62.3% of child abuse perpetrators are female, and 62.8% of child fatality perpetrators are female. The mother/father ratio is even higher, because many of the male abusers counted are not the biological fathers but stepfathers or boyfriends. However, men were mostly responsible for sexual abuse, women for medical neglect and other neglect, and both sexes roughly equally for physical and psychological abuse.[9] It has been reported, though not confirmed, that a woman abused by a male partner can appear as a child abuser and erroneously be charged with 'failure to protect' when in fact an abusive male has harmed the child.
Domestic violence in same-sex relationships
Historically domestic violence has been seen as a family issue and little interest has been directed at violence in same-sex relationships. It has not been until recently, as the gay rights movement has brought the issues of gay and lesbian people into public attention, when research has been started to conduct on homosexual relationships. Several studies have indicated that partner abuse among same-sex couples (both female and male) is relatively similar in both prevalence and dynamics to that among heterosexual couples. Gays and lesbians, however, face special obstacles in dealing with the issues that some researchers have labelled "the double closet": not only do gay and lesbian people often feel that they are discriminated against and dismissed by police and social services, they are also often met with lack of support from their peers who would rather keep quiet about the problem in order not to attract negative attention toward the gay community. Also, the supportive services are mostly designed for the needs of heterosexual women and do not always meet the needs of other groups.
Statistics
It is estimated that every year in the United States, approximately 3 million women are assaulted by their partner. Many of these incidents go unreported to authorities due to the shame and fear associated with domestic violence. In 1998, of the approximately 1.5 million violent crimes committed between intimate partners, over 876,000 of the victims were women, and over 835,000 were men. Of the approximately 1,830 murders committed against intimate partners in 1998, 3 out of 4 of the victims were women. In 2001 according to the Bureau of Statistics there were 691,710 non-fatal domestic violence acts committed and 1,247 fatal incidents. In homes where domestic violence occurs, children in the home are at a 300% greater risk of being abused. Between 3 and 5 billion dollars are spent annually for medical expenses related to domestic violence. Also, approximately 100 million dollars is lost by businesses annually though lost productivity, sick leave and absenteeism due to domestic violence.
Allegations of domestic violence
Allegations of domestic violence are frequent in post-divorce/separation situations. Such allegations may often be third-party abuse, using third-parties such as courts to carry out untraceable abuse against a falsely-accused 'perpetrator' (see article in Nuance Journal of Family Studies). The consequences of such allegations can be serious for the alleged perpetrator since occupation of the home and custody of the children may be at stake. In Australia, mandated allocation of family resources in court-supervised separation shifts automatically from 50:50 to 80:20 in favour of the alleged victim if there is any allegation of abuse; anecdotal reports and other evidence indicate that such allegations are accepted only from women, and that the allegation itself is required to be taken as its own proof, without any checks or balances. It is sometimes claimed that "less than 2% of reported domestic violence allegations are proved false", but anecdotal and other evidence suggests that this claim, as with many supposed statistics in domestic-violence 'research', is based more on wishful thinking and circular reasoning than on fact.
Response to domestic violence
The response to domestic violence is typically a combined effort between law enforcement agencies, the courts, social service agencies and corrections/probation agencies. The role of each has evolved as domestic violence has been brought more into public view. Historically, law enforcement agencies, the courts and corrections agencies treated domestic violence as a personal matter. For example, police officers were often reluctant to intervene by making an arrest, and often chose instead to simply counsel the couple and/or ask one of the parties to leave the residence for a period of time. The courts were reluctant to impose any significant sanctions on those convicted of domestic violence, largely because it was viewed as a misdemeanor offense. This mindset of treating family violence as a personal problem of minor consequence permeated the system's response, and potentially allowed the perpetrator to continue acting violently.
Activism, initiated by victim advocacy groups and feminist groups, has led to a better understanding of the scope and effect of domestic violence on victims and families, and has brought about changes in the criminal justice system's response.
Background
In 1981, the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project became the first multi-disciplinary program designed to address the issue of domestic violence. This experiment, conducted in Duluth, MN, frequently referred to as the "Duluth Project," involved coordinating the actions of a variety of agencies that deal with domestic situations. The policies and activities of diverse elements of the system, from police officers on the street, to shelters for battered women and probation officers supervising offenders, were coordinated with each other. This program has become a model for other jurisdictions seeking to deal more effectively with domestic violence. More and more jurisdictions are mandating that suspects in domestic violence incidents be arrested if there is probable cause to believe that an assault occurred. Victim advocates are intervening directly with victims by providing them with counseling about the court process, how to obtain and use restraining orders and how to formulate and implement safety plans. Corrections/probation agencies in many areas are supervising domestic violence offenders more closely, and are also paying closer attention to the victim's needs and safety issues.
It should be noted, however, that the Duluth framework depends on a strict 'patriarchal violence' model and presumes that all violence in the home and elsewhere has a male perpetrator and female victim. Through what appears to be nothing more than circular reasoning, it explicitly rejects any concept of mutuality or symmetry in abusive relationships, and appears to have little or no basis in relation to proven principles in psychology, education or remedial therapy. (For analysis of these and other fundamental flaws in the Duluth model, and approaches to resolve them, see this article in Nuance Journal of Family Studies.) Hence although the Duluth program is widely used, anecdotal evidence indicates that its record of success has been patchy at best. It may be inappropriate for all but a relatively small number of domestic violence contexts. There is an urgent need for formal review of the Duluth framework, and development of alternative frameworks for use in other contexts.
Treatment and support
Publicly available resources for dealing with domestic violence have tended to be almost exclusively geared towards supporting women and children who are in relationships with or who are leaving violent men, rather than for survivors of domestic violence per se. This has been due to the purported numeric preponderance of female victims and the perception that domestic violence only affected women. Resources to help men who have been using violence take responsibility for and stop their use of violence, such as Men's Behaviour Change Programs or anger management training, are available, though attendees are ordered to pay for their own course in order that they should remain accountable for their actions.
One of the challenges for lay observers, victims, perpetrators and treatment providers is demonstrated by the tendency to describe perpetrator treatment as men's "anger management." groups.
Comprehensive and accountable behaviour change programs are seen as far more appropriate and effective interventions in male violence in the home than anger management groups.
Inherent in anger management only approaches is the assumption that the violence is a result of a loss of control over one's anger. While there is little doubt that some domestic violence is about the loss of control, the choice of the target of that violence may be of greater significance. Anger management might be appropriate for the individual who lashes out indiscriminately when angry towards coworkers, supervisors or family. In most cases, however, the domestic violence perpetrator lashes out only at their intimate partner or relatively defenseless child, which suggests an element of choice or selection that, in turn, suggests a different or additional motivation beyond simple anger. Most experienced treatment providers have probably observed that for various reasons, many of which may be cultural, the perpetrator has a sense of entitlement, sometimes conscious, sometimes not, that leads directly to their choice of target.
Men's behaviour change programs, although differing throughout the world, tend to focus on the prevention of further violence within the family and the safety of women and children. Often they obide by various standards of practise that includes 'partner contact' where the participants female partner is contacted by the program and informed about the course, checked about her level of safety and support and offered support services for herself if she requires them. Many of these programs have both a male and female facilitator and follow a program designed to highlight the impact of his behaviour, examine the attitudes, values and behaviours that lead to his choice to use violence and aim to support and challenge the man to take responsibility for his use of violence.
Work with men who use violence and abuse toward family members can be seen in Victoria, Australia where a unique combination of voluntary and mandated (court or police referred) programs exist as well as a statewide telephone counselling, information and referral service for men exists. see: No To Violence (NTV) the Male Family Violence Prevention Association. [10] However, there are no equivalent services in Victoria for women who use violence or abuse, nor any support services at all for abused men. The absence of such services leads to circular claims that no such services are required, and to similarly circular claims that the available services represent proof that violence is exclusively 'male'.
Police
From the perspective of the police, who are often the first to investigate domestic violence incidents, one of the problems is that the definitions of domestic violence include acts that are not themselves crimes. The London Metropolitan Police has nevertheless compiled a list of the crimes [11] which typically can occur when domestic violence occurs. They are:
- Murder/attempted murder
- Manslaughter
- Rape
- Indecent assault
- Grievous bodily harm/wounding
- Actual bodily harm
- Common assault
- Threats to kill
- Affray
- Threatening behaviour
- Harassment
- Blackmail
- False imprisonment
- Kidnapping
- Criminal damage
- Malicious communications
- Witness intimidation
- Obstructing the course of justice
- Conspiracy to pervert the course of justice
The UK Crown Prosecution Service publishes guidange for prosecution in cases of alleged domestic violence. [12]
Risk assessment
Policy in the UK since the start of the millennium has been to make a risk assessment when there is a reported incident of domestic violence in order to determine the likelihood of serious harm or further serious harm occurring, regardless of whether an actual crime has been committed. Further proceedings are then based on the outcome of the risk assessment. Some are concerned at the jurisprudence of this approach, because it allows punitive action to be taken against an alleged prepetrator without recourse to a fair trial. The charity Women's Aid proposes that such risk assessments should always be conducted on fathers who wish to see their children after parental separation even where there has been no history of domestic violence:
- Women's Aid is concerned that there is no mention [in a recent government Green Paper] of the development of clear protocols to ensure that these measures [new measures to ensure family continuity] are not used in cases where there is a known history or future risk of domestic violence. [13]
Well-known individuals involved in documented reports of domestic violence
- O. J. Simpson and Nicole Brown Simpson
- Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett
- Mike Tyson and Robin Givens
- Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson
- James Brown
- Ike Turner and Tina Turner
- Tawny Kitaen and Chuck Finley
- Liza Minnelli and David Gest
- Derren Nesbitt and Anne Aubrey
Domestic violence and culture
Wife beating in Islam
Sheikh Muhammad Kamal Mustafa, imam of the mosque of the city of Fuengirola, Costa del Sol, Spain, in his book The Woman in Islam writes, of the status of violence against wives on the part of husbands in Islamic Sharia law, stating that it is permissible in some instances.
"The wife-beating must never be in exaggerated, blind anger, in order to avoid serious harm [to the woman]." He adds, "It is forbidden to beat her on the sensitive parts of her body, such as the face, breast, abdomen, and head. Instead, she should be beaten on the arms and legs," using a "rod that must not be stiff, but slim and lightweight so that no wounds, scars, or bruises are caused." Similarly, "[the blows] must not be hard." [14]
Mustafa noted in his book that the aim of the beating was to cause the woman to feel some emotional pain, without humiliating her or harming her physically. According to him, physical blows must be the last resort to which a husband turns in punishing his wife, and is, according to the Qur'an (Chapter 4, Verse 34), the husband's third step when the wife is rebellious: First, he must reprimand her, without anger. Next, he must distance her from the conjugal bed. Only if these two methods fail should the husband turn to beating.
Sheikh Yousef Qaradhawi, head of the European Council for Fatwa and Research, has advocated "non-painful" beating of wives: "it is permissible for [the husband] to beat her lightly with his hands, avoiding her face and other sensitive parts. In no case should he resort to using a stick or any other instrument that might cause pain and injury."
Dr. Muhammad Al-Hajj, lecturer on Islamic faith at the University of Jordan (Amman) states: "Hard beatings are those that leave marks on the body or on the face. Thus, beating on the face is prohibited, because the face is a combination of the features of beauty, as it is said. It is forbidden to beat the face, it is forbidden to administer blows that leave fractures or wounds; this is what our sages have said in their books."
While some Muslims interpret the Qu'ran to allow the beating of wives, many other Muslims interpret the scripture to say "leave" the wife, not beat her. [15]
For resources, interpretations, and discussion of Domestic Violence in Islam please see ProgressiveIslam.Org's section on Violence against Women in their Women's Health Project