Childfree
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Wikipedia-Article "Childfree"
Childfree is a term used to describe those who do not have, and do not desire, children. A popular alternative description is "childless by choice".
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Etymology and usage
The term stands in contrast to "childless", which some argue implies that children are "lacking" and desired; childfree persons would argue that their lives are no more or less complete without offspring. Some may like children, others may be indifferent, and still others may dislike children; but the commonality between childfree people is both a personal lack of desire for parenthood and never having children of one's own.
The history of the word is somewhat unclear; it may have been coined in the 1970s by the National Organization for Non-Parents (now defunct). It achieved wider currency in the 1990s when Leslie Lafayette formed one of the first modern childfree groups, the Childfree Network.
Childfree is sometimes capitalized in regular usage, e.g., "He describes himself as Childfree."
It is also frequently abbreviated as "CF" among people who are childfree.
While gay men and lesbians can be childfree, they once rarely adopted the label; the vast majority of those who did were straight (or, potentially, bisexual). With the modern "gay-by boom" (gays and lesbians moving into the parenting sphere), today gays and lesbians are not uncommon in childfree groups.
Organizations
Motivation
Childfree people cite a variety of reasons for their choices, including:
- Personal convenience and advancement:
- Desire for increased free time for leisure, hobbies, friends, second jobs.
- Desire for decreased financial responsibility.
- Fear that parenthood, being an irrevocable state, will be disliked.
- Ability to change career or city of residence at short notice (spontaneous mobility).
- Desire for maintaining a level of emotional intimacy and physical intimacy with partner, one that is not thought to be possible with the presence of children (Marital Satisfaction).
- Wish not to redesign home to fit a child’s needs and safety (for example, expensive houses, art pieces, and collectables).
- Realization that childbearing would reduce career advancement.
- Desire to maintain a particular level of power and control in one’s life: loss of time, energy, privacy and freedom are not desired.
- Lack of desire for children:
- Lack of biological urges to procreate.
- Adolescent/post adolescent disdain for younger children.
- General dislike of the behavior of children.
- Desire to express care giving urges in other ways such as taking care of parents or other relatives, working for charity, etc.
- Contentment with enjoyment of others' children as aunts, uncles, educators, etc.
- Fear and revulsion towards the physical condition of pregnancy, the childbirth experience, and recovery (for example the erosion of physical desirability).
- Memories of traumatic or poor childhood.
- Memories of abusive or absent parents.
- Concern for safety of parent or child:
- Existing medical conditions would result in a difficult pregnancy (for example, diabetes, living in a cancer cluster) or problems bringing up a child (for example, a family history of depression).
- Concern over Obsessive-compulsive disorder(OCD) and attachment theory.
- Unavailability of high quality and affordable childcare.
- Belief that it is inherently immoral to bring people into the world:
- No consent can be asked or given
- The world is full of suffering, and one cannot ensure that any given person will have a good life.
- Everyone leaves life through death, therefore by giving birth, one guarantees that death will take place.
- Concern regarding environmental factors and/or overpopulation.
- Perceived incapacity to be a responsible and patient parent.
Statistics and Research
- A 2003 U.S. Census study found that a record number of women in the United States are childless; 44% of women in the age group 15-44 fit that category.
- The number of these women who are childfree is unknown, but the National Center of Health Statistics confirms that the percentage of American women of childbearing age who define themselves as voluntarily childless (or childfree) rose sharply in the 1990s: from 2.4 percent in 1982 to 4.3 percent in 1990 to 6.6 percent in 1995.
- Caucasian never-married women have childless levels more than twice as high as African American women. Regardless of marital status, Hispanic women had lower levels of childlessness than non-Hispanic women. [1]
- Overall, researchers have observed childfree couples to be more educated, more likely to be employed in professional and management occupations, more likely for both spouses to earn relatively high incomes, live in urban areas, less religious, less traditional gender roles, and less conventional [2].
- David Foot of the University of Toronto concluded that the female’s education is the most important determinant of fertility. The higher the education, the less likely for her to bear children [3].
- Women choose to be childfree for the freedom to work, and men choose to be childfree for freedom from work.
- It has been documented in many studies that childfree people are less socially desirable (social desirability bias), less well adjusted, less nurturing, less mature, more materialistic, more selfish, and more individualistic [4].
- A statistical survey of the childfree found that common reasons for the choice to be childfree included not wanting to sacrifice privacy/personal space for children; having no compelling reason to have children; not wanting to sacrifice time for children; actively not wanting children around; being perfectly content with pets; and seeing the effects of children on family/friends.
Controversy
Controversy surrounding the childfree phenomenon can be broadly said to come in two waves that overlap: the personal and the political.
Childfree individuals are sometimes derided by others as being "selfish" for never wanting children, for not contributing to their nation's future, etc. Childfree persons counter that those who desire children are at least as selfish in their reasons for wanting children, that some reasons cited for being childfree are selfless, and that there will always be enough children born to guarantee any nation's future.
There has been a debate within the church about whether a childfree lifestyle is something to be condemned. Religious conservatives have said it is a rebellion against God. Pope John Paul II has stated married couples choosing to be childfree are condemned. [5] The Christian author Albert Mohler says “Couples are not given the option of chosen childlessness in the biblical revelation. To the contrary, we are commanded to receive children with joy as God's gifts, and to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Churches are approaching this issue much like they condemned homosexuality, gay couples, and gay marriage. And are calling childfree an "epidemic” and those choosing not to procreate heathens [6]. However, there are new churches being formed due to the child free movement. For example, a group called The Cyber-Church of Jesus Christ Childfree. They are a group of Christians who feel the call to have no descendents by fleshly means, just as Jesus had none. [7]
There has been a large improvement in contraceptives over the years, but those choosing to be childfree prefer sterilization. However, childfree people may have difficulty finding physicians willing to perform sterilizations, especially when they are in their 20's. (An aversion to lawsuits from patients who change their minds may account for this unwillingness.) These issues led to many childfree people setting up support networks (either to vent about others or draw strength from the knowledge that they're not alone) and groups such as No Kidding! seeks to provide social interaction and friendship free from social pressure to have children.
The focus on personal acceptance is interestingly mirrored in much of the literature surrounding voluntary childlessness. Many early books were grounded in feminist theory and largely sought to dispel the idea that womanhood and motherhood were necessarily the same thing. However, in recent years the childfree have become increasingly politicized. Books and articles such as Burkett's The Baby Boon, argued that childfree people faced not only social discrimination but political discrimination as well. This increasing discontent is frequently focused upon tax breaks aimed at families with children and changes to employment legislation facilitating life for parents, but it also runs through to issues such as right-wing and religious demands for censorship on the grounds of "family values".
On the other hand, this discontent, though widespread among childfree people, does not translate into a unified political vision. This is largely because childfree people come from all shades of the political spectrum and temper their beliefs accordingly. For example, while many childfree people think of government handouts to parents as "lifestyle subsidies," others accept the need to help out parents but think that their lifestyle should be equally compensated. Meanwhile, other childfree people have been known to express bitterness about the need to fund public schools through general taxation.. However, the Australian Childfree Party (ACFP) is a childfree political party that has been proposed in Australia. They promote the childfree lifestyle as opposed to promotion of the family lifestyle [8].
This increase in politicization and media interest has lead to the emergence of a second wave of childfree organizations that are openly political in their raisons d'etre. Despite a number of abortive attempts to mobilize a political pressure group in the U.S., the first to emerge was a British organization known as Kidding Aside. However, despite becoming increasingly vocal and organized, the childfree movement has had little political impact and struggles to have its concerns taken seriously rather than as a human interest story.
Childfree slang
It is worth noting that while pejorative slang is common in many internet forums as people 'vent' their frustrations, many childfree people never use such terminology.
- BNP: "Breeder, Not Parent"; a "breeder" in the specific sense (see below).
- "Baby rabies": Obsession with having or conceiving a child.
- Breeder: Generally, someone who has, or intends to have, children. Is often used in a more specific sense to refer to obnoxious parents (in contrast with "parent", below). This is also gay slang for a heterosexual person.
- Childless: A person who has no children, but who would either like to have children in future or who is physically unable to have children (not through choice).
- Diaperwhipped: A term for parents who are controlled by their child(ren)'s every whim.
- DINKs "Double income no kids;" childfree who have not only childless time to pursue their pleasures, but also the financial status to indulge in them.
- Duh/duhddy: A term for a father with bad parenting skills.
- Fence-sitter: A person who has not yet decided whether or not to have children.
- Fleshloaf: See "loaf".
- Freaklitter: A large multiple birth caused by misuse of fertility drugs. Sometimes known as fuctuplets or a litter.
- Free range child: An unsupervised child, usually one who is not staying put or who is wreaking havoc in public.
- Fuck-trophy: A child, especially one that is shown around by a parent as evidence of their achievements in the fertility arena.
- Fussing quietly: (ironic) A child screaming at the top of his/her lungs.
- Hipmoo: Trendy mother, usually lax as a disciplinarian, who subscribes to any popular earthy-crunchy parenting trend, such as attachment parenting, abstaining from vaccines, the family bed, uncovered breastfeeding in public, allowing children to self-wean, and so on. Tends to value any practice associated with the third world, although a first-worlder herself.
- Kinderspullen: Unsightly paraphenalia associated with babies & children, such as large plastic toys, wading pools, forts in the garden, LEGOs on the living room carpet, and/or pastel bags bursting with baby products packed for any trip further than a block.
- Loaf: Freshly hatched offspring; newborn.
- Moo/moomie: A term for a mother with bad parenting skills.
- Parent: One with children who behaves in a non-obnoxious manner regarding their children, and who is considered to have brought up those children well. (Some Childfree persons do not make the distinction between this and "breeder", above.)
- Oops: Verb. To entrap an unsuspecting sex partner by intentionally getting pregnant.
- Placenta brain: Term equating complete focus on children & childbearing to a mental defect: I swear, she pushed out her brain right after she pushed out the placenta. Applied equally to male and female breeders.
- PNB: "Parent, Not Breeder"; a "parent" (see above).
- Snipped: Sterilized.
- S-MOO-V: A massive sport-utility vehicle filled with baby paraphenalia, old drive-through food, or abandoned toys, driven erratically by a parent focusing more attention on the children in the back than the road all around him/her.
- Sprog: A child. Also "yard ape," "crotch dumpling," "crotch dropping," "sproglet," "spawn," "anklebiter," "shriekling," "fleshloaf".
- Stork spot: Parking space reserved for pregnant women or for parents accompanying children.
- SUV stroller: A large, unwieldy, ridiculously tricked-out pram. Usually uncollapsable and pushed with unthinking gusto, as if it were an assault vehicle.
- Diaper brigade: A grouping of parents.
Books
- The Baby Boon (ISBN 0743242645) is a book by Elinor Burkett, published in 2000, which outlines a case against many privileges granted to parents (as opposed to non-parents) at various levels of society.
- Childfree and Sterilized (ISBN 0304337471) is a book by Annily Campbell, published in 1999, which describes the experiences of adult childfree women seeking sterilization in the UK.
- Maybe One (ISBN 1862300046) is a book by Bill McKibben, published in 1999, which describes the environmental impact of having children. While the book advocates one-child families, there is an obvious unspoken case for having no children.
- The Childless Revolution (ISBN 0738206741) is a book by Madelyn Cain, published in 2002, which describes the experiences of childless and childfree women, and their similarities and differences.
- Why Don't You Have Kids? (ISBN 082174853X) is a book by Leslie Lafayette, published in 1995, an early treatise on the subject of modern-day childfreedom by the woman who founded one of its first groups, the Childfree Network.
- Without Child: Challenging the stigma of childlessness (ISBN 0415924936) is a book by Laurie Lisle, published in 1996, which probes some of the myths and the stereotypes that surround non-mothers.
- Childfree and Loving It! (ISBN 1904132634) is a book by Nicki DeFago, published in 2005, which deals humorously with the comments childfree people get and challenges the stigma attached to the choice to remain CF. First such book written from a UK viewpoint.
- Childfree After Infertility: Moving from Childlessness to a Joyous Life (ISBN 0595274382) is a book by Heather Wardell, published in 2003, which espouses the embracing of the childfree philosophy by couples who are medically infertile.
- The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men (ISBN 0897895983) is a book by Patricia Lunneborg, published in 1999. Based on interviews with 30 American and British men, challenges the stereotype that men without children are immature, selfish, and irresponsible. Finds nine main types, including workaholics, lifelong learners, early retirees, stress reducers, and men avoiding the mistakes of their parents. Argues that men should be active participants in childbearing decisions.
- Kindervrij Verklaard (ISBN 0646453610) is a book by Marije Feddema and Larissa van Berchum, published in 2005. This first-ever book on childfreedom that was published in Dutch, discusses the definition of the term childfreedom, pioneers and history, the taboo and prejudices, advantages and disadvantages, motivations, lifestyle and views on the future, and contraception and sterilization methods.
- Childfree Zone is a book by Susan J. and David Moore, published in 2004. An Australian book that contains the experiences and opinions of over 80 child-free people aged between 22 and 60. It is not an academic study or statistical analysis, but a practical, readable and often amusing discussion of the decision to remain child-free.
- Families of Two: Interviews with Happily Married Couples without children by choice is a book by Laura Carroll, published in 2005. it consists of interviews of over 100-childfree couples that demonstrate and assist in explaining the decreased desire to bring children into the world.
Television
An episode of The Simpsons presented a scenario where people without children, including Childfree adults, squared off against the families with children of Springfield.
See also
External links
- Moral Childfree--A perspective on the morality of not bringing people into a place where the only certain thing is death.
- Dinklink.com: Childfree Singles - The world's first online community & personals site dedicated to helping the childfree connect.
- The World Childfree Association - A worldwide all-volunteer non-profit organization that supports the childfree.
- The Population Institute - An international, educational, non-profit organization that seeks to reduce excessive population growth.
- A Lexicon of Spawn - More childfree slang terms.
- No Kidding! - A social club for those without children.
- The Childfree Wiki - A Wiki-based website with information about being childfree and resources for the childfree (still in development)
- Childless couples - an emerging demographic - article includes statistical data
- Choosing Childlessness: Weber's Typology of Action and Motives of the Voluntarily Childless – an extensive study
- The Childfree Zone - an organization of childfree persons in the Phoenix metropolitan area with a website